roses.

So this morning someone rang at my door.
It was the florist!
I wasn't expecting anything, so I was kind of confused.
I took off the paper packaging and saw a card.. dedicated to me.

 

"Im coming home soon! Miss you."

Sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.

early gifts.

The BF is going to spend Christmas in T.O. ;(
Since he's leaving on the 24th, and I'm stuck at work, he passed by last night to drop off my gift at my door (without me knowing).
Such a sweetheart <3

We're going to open our gifts tonight heheh, I can't wait!

once in a lifetime.

"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life."

-Bob Marley.

totoro.

Ever got those random depressing moments?
You know, the kind you get when everyone is having a good time around you, and suddenly you just freeze and realize how miserable you are.
At times I wonder, "aren't I supposed to be happy?", I have everything I've ever wished for and more in the palm of my hands.
Some people tell me that it's perfectly normal, and some tell me to stop being pathetic and move on.
Well I have moved on, but don't they get the fact it's always going to hurt in someway?
'Cause in the end, it just hurts all the same, no?
 
I want to smile, I want to laugh. He's been pulling me down for way too long and I know now that it's time to let go of him completely. It's time I stop worrying about him and his precious little life; it's time I put myself first for a change. It's time I treat myself right and leave behind those who don't. It's time I dig myself out of this hole and start all over again with someone who just might be willing to give me the chance that he never did.

And that someone is my Totoro (:

I know, the picture quality is really bad, and it's grey and bla bla bla.
Too bad it's the only picture I have for now lol.

Thank you for being there when I really needed a shoulder to cry on.
Thank you for making me see the better things in life.
Thank you for loving me. ♥

center of their universe.

At some point, you will realize that you have done too much for someone, that the only next possible step to do is to stop. Leave them alone and walk away. It’s not like you’re giving up, and it’s not like you shouldn’t try. It’s just that you have to draw a line between determination and desperation. What is truly yours will eventually be yours, and what isn’t, no matter how hard you try, will never be.

So wait for the person who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kind of person who brings out the best in you and makes you want to become a better person. Wait for the person who will be your best friend, the only person who will drop everything just to be with you at any time no matter what the circumstances, for the person who makes you smile like no one else and when they smile, you know they need you. Wait for the person who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats and a t-shirt, but appreciates it when you get dressed up for them. And most of all wait for the person who will put you at the center of their universe, because that's where you belong.

goodbye summer.

It is said that "you'll never leave where you are, until you decide where you'd rather be."
I couldn't agree more.
It's hard to move on when you have nowhere to go.

Life is full of surprises.
The best things come when you least expect it.
All you need is a little company.
When you find yourself surrounded by friends and laughing until your stomach aches, you'll realize how lucky you are.
I know I did.

This summer is approaching it's end... and there's absolutely no way I'm looking forward to that.
Even though I spent three quarters of the summer being depressed, the last quarter made it all worth the wait, the pain and the misery.

on the right track.

Today was the first day of my third semester.
I was really tired, because I barely slept at all.
For some reason, school stresses me a lot... and when it comes to exams, my mind goes on crazy mode and I get a maximum of two hours of sleep.
Maybe I should start meditating or something.. haha!

Apart from school... life has been treating me well these past days.
Two and a half months ago, I was a total disaster. & less than three weeks ago, I was still a pretty bad mess.
There's a lot more to look forward to in life.
It might seem like you'll never get better... but one day you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel. I promise.
I can honestly say that where I stand right now is where I want to be.

Because he has been a major part of your life, of course you'll miss him, it's perfectly normal. It's like getting your tooth pulled out. After the dentist pulls it out, you're relieved, but how many times does your tongue run itself over the spot where it used to be? Probably countless times a day... Just because it wasn't hurting you, doesn't mean you didn't notice it. It leaves a gap and sometimes you find yourself missing it terribly. It's going to take a while, it takes time. Should you have kept the tooth? No, because it was causing you pain. Pulling the tooth out was the right decision, but it's going to hurt.
So no matter how awful it hurts and how bad your life sucks at times, remember that things happen for a reason.
I can't say that I'm perfectly reestablished myself... but I'm getting there... and I'm almost there (:

messy.

Love is a funny thing. You expect it to be easy, a world of roses, laughs, happiness & perfect moments, you find only in the movies and novels. You expect him to always say the right thing and always know how you feel, or exactly how to react to it. You expect him to calm you down when you're yelling or chase you when you run away. You expect so much that you feel entirely and utterly defeated when something doesn't match up to your plans. But that's the thing. Love isn't a plan. It doesn't have a certain beginning, it certainly has no end or visible finish line to those deeply in it. Love happens, and it's incredibly messy.

update on the monster.

She's the cutest ball of fur. That's all I can say.

love is a good thing.

Love is always a good thing no matter how much it hurts. Even after it's over, even through the pain, anyone who has ever really loved will tell you that they never regretted a second of it, no matter how much it hurt in the end, and if you tell me differently, I will tell you that you were not truly in love.

-April Nizlek

playing dead.

 Silly bunny.

My mom got me flowers~
She's been getting me flowers on a regular basis for a while now.
Am I dying? lol.
She got my white roses, my favorite.

 

v day.

Unlike what you guys might think, V Day does not stand for Valentine's Day.
V Day = Viet's Day haha.

So as requested, I am supposed to write him something... like a long message on his Facebook wall, but I prefer not to, cause then too many people can read it.

How we met each other was totally random.
I was chatting with K and J (back then they were together), and we were being immature and saying that blablabla was mine and blablabla was his.
& J just added V to the conversation randomly, so that he can prove the fact that blablabla was his lol.
We also used to fight over Jiro, as a joke.
I remember the first time we saw each other in real life.
It was at Mbox and he said: "Allo, you're Cassie right?"
I have no idea how we became so close lol.
Well anyways, even though we don't have the same tastes in almost everything (lol) and we don't always agree on the same stuff, I'm glad we always end up talking/complaining about life and people to one another (:

Happy 18th Birthday V!
You can do everything legally now ;D

16 again.

camwhore buddy.

wise man.

You may not be her first, her last, or her only.
She loved before she may love again.
But if she loves you now, what else matters?
She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together, but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold on to her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give.
Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there.
-Bob Marley

apologize.

Apologizing;
does not always mean that you are wrong and the other person is right.

It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.

5 hours.

After my one and only class of the day, I had a hole of 5 hours before I had to get to work.
I usually spend that time doing homework (well I try)
But today, I had nothing done!
K stayed with me for the whole 5 hours lol, surprisingly..
He had nothing better to do..
& it was so distracting!
So I only did one of my assignments, which was to draw 4 couches.. K drew one, and it looked exactly the same as the first one I drew >_>
I gave up on two other drawing assignments.
& I started on another homework, which was home planning.
K fell asleep, and when he woke up, he kept on singing this stupid line from the song Young Forever.
"The music's for the sad man..." whatt?
Afterwards, we just got really vedge and kept on laughing at everything.
Then, he blurred out a random word: Peckers.
We didn't know what it meant, so we googled it.

peck·er
–noun
1. a person or thing that pecks.
2. a bird's bill.
3. a woodpecker.
4. Slang: Vulgar. penis.

Laugh out loud moment.

run.

Girl:

 I wrote him a letter today. It was only a few sentences,
but it summed up everything that I felt about him and our relationship.
I kissed it and dropped it in his mailbox, then left.
I took the next train south and never dared to look back.

***

Boy:

 I grabbed the letter from my mailbox.
It had my name on it, written in her loopy handwriting.
I opened and read the four sentences.
I dropped the letter in the garbage, laced up my sneakers & started running.

settled home.

 

 

skipping?

I skipped class today.
First time since college started.
I didn't give in my 2 projects ;S
But for some weird reason, I don't really care.

My not so organized drawing table. Oups?

shopping!

I went shopping with N today.
Both of our classes got canceled todayy~
Coincidence? Ha!

I ended up buying some stuff here and there..
& A BUNNY.
YES, A REAL BUNNY.
We went to Safari pet store, and I saw this adorable bunny, I just HAD to bring it back home.
So I ended up spending 250$ more, since I had to buy a cage and blabla.
N: "Wow, you really ARE an impulsive buyer." LOL!
I had to call J, so that he could pick us up and help me set up the cage.

Her name is BumBum!

Welcome home little one.

Discovering my bed.

♥.

Girl says:

I can't promise you perfection,
'cause that is not who I am.
I can't promise you forever,
'cause I don't hold fate within my hands.
I can't promise you the sunshine,
because I know there will be rain.
I can't promise you complete happiness,
'cause with true love, there comes pain.
I can't promise to always smile,
'cause life always has a way to make me cry.
I can't promise to always stand strong,
'cause it's never easy to want to give life another try.

Guy says:

I know you're not perfection.
to me, you're so much more.
I know we may not have forever,
so I treasure every moment with you,
in case another one isn't in store.
Yes, I’d like the sunshine.
but I’ll stand with you through the rain.
Your happiness is my happiness.
So I’ll do whatever I can to ease your pain.
When I first saw you smile, I fell in love at once.
And even deeper I fell, the first time I saw you cry.
It was at that moment I realized,
I wanted to protect you. And always be the
one to wipe the tears from your eyes.
I know that life is difficult, and has given you
more than your fair share of pain and lies, but that's
why I’ll be your strength when yours falls broken...
and give you my wings to fly. ♥